Look at your ultimate goals & your momentary goals by existential measures.
Existential goals are not linear, they are all inclusive and the definition of being alive. You accomplish existential goals by letting your experience guide you from what you don’t want to what you do want. and then paying attention to the small changes you need to make to stay on course.
A woman in her 40’s is happily married with two children and a new graduate degree. But she can’t seem to get her web design business started. She reflects on her current experience and discovers a link to her a past relationship where she was always putting her needs second, always trying to “make the best of a bad situation.” She discovered that she did not know how to make her needs count and could not tolerate standing her ground if other people disapproved of her choices.
She had entered an abusive relationship in her late teens. Her parents disapproved and she decided that she could not confide in them. Being unsure of herself, she taught herself to tolerate her situation. But she began to fantasize about being out of the relationship.
She was a student at the time and an opportunity to study abroad was available. She took it and never went back to the abusive relationship. But she had not learned to value herself and her needs. She had not learned that she could support herself in being authentic and honest with the people around her.
As she began to build her existential skills, through self-discovery, she was able to move forward in her business and achieve both her strategic goals of setting her direction and her existential goals of taking care of herself, and getting her needs met in honest and authentic interactions with others.
In summary, existential goals are those that allow us to express the potential that we innately have in ways that meet our needs, maintain relationships of mutual regard and care, allow us to resolve conflict and to think about our selves and our lives with accurate, authentic, and practical perceptions.
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